Bringin' the bins in

(By Russell)

The morning after the night before. It's 9:00am, a slice of toast with a hangover black coffee at hand. More CDs to listen to, reviews to write. it's a beautiful, peaceful, sunny lockdown day, birds twittering in the trees. And then...

The 'essential services' crew braved the hazards of back lane suburbia...they're dedicated public servants these guys, as their familiar bin lorry pulled up outside. It was a reassuring sight. Our heroes heaved heavy-laden blue ('doing our bit') recycling bins from kerbside to lorry, chatting casually, as is their wont. An imagined conversation...

Ron: Hey, Brian, these bins are bloody heavy this week! 

Brian: Aye, yer tellin' me! (CRASH! CLINK! CRAAASH!)

Ron: Hear that? You know...(CRASH! CLINK!) ...what these lot have been doin', don't ya?

Brian: Aye, ****ing plonkies. The sooner this lockdown's over the better!

And on their way our heroes went, the early morning quiet restored. Time to sneak out to bring the bins in, anticipating an imagined conversation...

The neighbour: Mornin'! (Damn, let's hope he doesn't mention last night's empties).

Your correspondent: Oh, mornin' (business like, trying not to engage).

The neighbour: Good time last night? (was that a pleasantry or something more searching?).

Your correspondent: Quiet (trying to sound convincing).

The neighbour: Well, I hope we didn't disturb you last last night...had a few too many lagers, you know, listening to my old country music albums. Hadn't heard them in years. They were in the loft and what with this lockdown thing I've been doing a bit of spring cleaning. 

Your correspondent: Oh, don't worry, didn't hear a thing.

The neighbour: You've got a record player thingy, haven't you?

Your correspondent: A turntable, aye.

The neighbour: Well, if you like, you can loan my LPs, they're really...

Your correspondent: Thanks for the offer but I've got lots of jazz CDs to listen to.

The neighbour: Ah, yes, you like that twiddly-diddly stuff, don't you?  

Your correspondent: Aye, sort of (closing the door, back in the real world, the world of twiddly-diddly jazz).

Now, where was I. Ah, yes, there's the latest ECM album to listen to before a quick trip to the shops for some, ahem, 'essential shopping'.          

Russell