Puttin' the bins out

(By Russell)

In these lockdown times what else is there to do but drink (more) beer? CDs, LPs, scant jazz pickings on TV, not much better on the wireless, a book (jazz biog, history, fiction), keep up to date devouring a multitude of magazines - Jazzwise, DownBeat, The Jazz Rag, Jazz Times, Just Jazz, Syncopated Times, back issues of all of the above - and the novelty of the new kid on the block, the live stream gig. 

The jazz life is 24/7, bottles of beer are part and parcel. Who goes to a jazz gig teetotal? Who leaves a jazz gig pie-eyed? Come on, hands up?! In these lockdown times supermarkets must be making a killing on 'essential purchases only' shopping. In recent days these 'essential  purchases only' have been, well, purchased (some in multiples) and, naturally, consumed. The following list is far from exhaustive...London Pride (the jazz critic's beer of choice, cheers, Warren!), Black Sheep, Fursty Ferret (cheers, Kay!), Old Peculier (cheers, Kay!), Champion Ale (it could have been named after your favourite bass player), a first time beer from Ireland (name forgotten, hic!) and udders, hic, sorry, others, many others. 

It's late, the last bottle of the evening supped, time to put the bins out.Tomorrow It's blue bin day, hic! The 'caddy' if that's what it's called (the bit at the top of the bin), is full to the brim. What to do? It's a full moon - a Pink Moon, apparently -  and the back lane is moonlit, little chance of going unseen. Shush! One...two...eight - eight bottles too many to fit in the bin. A quick glance, no one will see, shush! A neighbour's bin will do. Take a peek. Damn, it's nigh on full of empties! Yeah, nigh on, but room enough for a few more. Shush! Then, a stroke of luck, perfect timing, a Metro rattles past - quick, pile the empties in! 

Close the door...quietly! Set alarm on phone, write tomorrow's shopping list...'essential purchases'. It's a jazz life...