Call the Firehouse Five Plus Two!

Last night, just as I was about to set off for the Chilli to hear Dave Weisser's Take it to the Bridge and Budvivar, the fire alarm sounded.

I live on the top floor and occasionally the alarm sounds and it is a false alarm (residents tend to ignore it). I opened my front door to be confronted by a smoke-filled corridor. This time it was for real. My neighbour had gone out a few minutes earlier - hadn't she? - and smoke was billowing from under her front door.

At this point I did what my hero (Stan Laurel) would have done - panic! I rang the door bell, I banged on the door. I knew there wasn't anyone at home. I flew down the stairs and out onto the street.

A neighbour, on the ground floor, wondered what the commotion was about. 'Fire!' I said. 'Yeah, right' she said. 'Fire, for real!' I said. Mobile in hand she called 999 (the local fire station is just around the corner). We stood outside, I looked up - I thought ...my LPs, my CDs, my books - I was just about to dash back into the burning building when three fire engines raced round the corner, crews donning breathing apparatus, leaping from their tenders, hauling hoses, wielding axes ('Here's Johnny!').

Foolishly, I said 'I'll show you where the fire is'. Fearlessly, the firefighters pushed past me and entered the inferno. Much banging and clattering ensued - the door went in (Johnny was clearly enjoying his work). After a while our heroes emerged onto the street. A grill pan over the cooker hadn't been switched off. Damage to my neighbour's home was minimal - a case of smoke without fire ! Thanks to the Firehouse Five Plus Two I'll make it to the Chilli next week. Russell