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Bebop Spoken There

Branford Marsalis: "As ignorance often forces us to do, you make a generalisation about a musician based on one specific record or one moment in time." - (Jazzwise June 2023).

The Things They Say!

Hudson Music: Lance's "Bebop Spoken Here" is one of the heaviest and most influential jazz blogs in the UK.

Rupert Burley (Dynamic Agency): "BSH just goes from strength to strength".

'606' Club: "A toast to Lance Liddle of the terrific jazz blog 'Bebop Spoken Here'"

The Strictly Smokin' Big Band included Be Bop Spoken Here (sic) in their 5 Favourite Jazz Blogs.

Ann Braithwaite (Braithwaite & Katz Communications) You’re the BEST!

Holly Cooper, Mouthpiece Music: "Lance writes pull quotes like no one else!"

Postage

15491 (and counting) posts since we started blogging 15 years ago. 512 of them this year alone and, so far, 133 this month (May 31).

From This Moment On ...

June

Sat 03: Newcastle Record Fair @ Northumbria University, Newcastle NE8 8SB. 10:00am-3:00pm. Admission: £2.00.
Sat 03: Pedigree Jazz Band @ St Augustine's Parish Centre, Darlington. 12:30pm.
Sat 03: Play Jazz! workshop @ The Globe, Newcastle. 1:30pm. Tutor: Sue Ferris. £25.00. Enrol at: www.jazz.coop.
Sat 03: Abbie Finn Trio @ The Vault, Darlington. 6:00pm. Free.
Sat 03: Rendezvous Jazz @ Red Lion, Earsdon. 8:00pm. £3.00.
Sat 03: Papa G's Troves @ Prohibition Bar, Newcastle. 8:00pm. A 'Jar on the Bar' gig.

Sun 04: Smokin' Spitfires @ The Cluny, Newcastle. 12:45pm.
Sun 04: Central Bar Quintet @ Central Bar, Gateshead. 2:00-4:00pm. £5.00. The Central Bar Quintet plays Sonny Rollins' Saxophone Colossus. Featuring Lewis Watson.
Sun 04: 4B @ The Exchange, North Shields. 3:00pm.
Sun 04: Struggle Buggy + Michael Littlefield @ Tyne Bar, Newcastle. 4:00pm. Free. Acoustic blues.
Sun 04: Swinging at the Cotton Club: Harry Strutters' Hot Rhythm Orchestra @ The Fire Station, Sunderland. 7:30pm.
Sun 04: Richard Jones Trio @ The Globe, Newcastle. 8:00pm.
Sun 04: Jam No. 18 @ Fabio's Bar, Saddler Street, Durham. 8:00pm. Free. All welcome. A Durham University Jazz Society event.

Mon 05: Harmony Brass @ Cullercoats Crescent Club. 1:00pm.

Tue 06: Paul Skerritt @ The Rabbit Hole, Hallgarth St., Durham DH1 3AT. 7:00pm. Paul Skerritt's (solo) weekly residency.
Tue 06: Jam session @ Black Swan, Newcastle Arts Centre. 7:30pm. House trio: Stu Collingwood (piano); Paul Grainger (double bass); Sid White (drums).

Wed 07: Vieux Carré Jazzmen @ Cullercoats Crescent Club. 1:00pm.
Wed 07: Darlington Big Band @ Darlington & Simpson Rolling Mills Social Club, Darlington. 7:00pm. Rehearsal session (open to the public).
Wed 07: 4B @ The Exchange, North Shields. 7:00pm.
Wed 07: Take it to the Bridge @ The Globe, Newcastle. 7:30pm.

Thu 08: Vieux Carré Jazzmen @ The Holystone, Whitley Road, North Tyneside. 1:00pm. Free.
Thu 08: Easington Colliery Brass Band @ The Lubetkin Theatre, Peterlee. 7:00pm. £10.00.
Thu 08: Faye MacCalman + Blue Dust Archive @ Cobalt Studios, Newcastle. 7:00pm.
Thu 08: Dilutey Juice + Ceramic @ The Ampitheatre, Sea Road, South Shields. 7:00pm. Free. A South Tyneside Festival event.
Thu 08: Lara Jones w. Vigilance State @ Lubber Fiend, Blandford Square, Newcastle. 7:00pm.
Thu 08: Michael Littlefield @ the Harbour View, Roker, Sunderland. 8:00pm. Free. Country blues.
Thu 08: Tees Hot Club @ Dorman's Club, Middlesbrough. 9:00pm.

Fri 09: Classic Swing @ Cullercoats Crescent Club. 1:00pm.
Fri 09: New Orleans Preservation Jazz Band @ Oxbridge Hotel, Stockton. 1:00pm. £5.00.
Fri 09: Rendezvous Jazz @ The Monkseaton Arms, Monkseaton. 1:00pm.
Fri 09: Castillo Nuevo @ Revolución de Cuba, Newcastle. 5:30-8:30pm.
Fri 09: Emma Rawicz @ Sage Gateshead. 8:00pm.

Wednesday, January 04, 2017

Bongo Boy And Butt Girl - An In Chanting Couple (Another gem from Scott Black)

Seems that the skinny white guy who wears a Rastafarian hat and plays the bongos, has decided to expand his horizons. He has taken up chanting to add to the various musical things he can’t do. I was sitting here in a quiet repose and the thwapping sound of someone smacking an innocent bongo started up. It’s not a problem really, for I possess industrial strength earplugs for such things as train wrecks, asteroids, new age music, rap and neighbours who play bongos. But after a few minutes, he started bellowing out what sounded like an impersonation of a wounded steer to me. Or perhaps a Great Dane with an infected tooth, but you get the idea. It wasn’t in any language that I’ve ever heard of before, it made no sense and had no sense of pitch to it, or talent for that matter.

His girlfriend is a short and very cute blonde of college age I suspect, with one slight flaw. I think she was born with two asses. Either that or she uses that caboose for shoplifting. It’s hard to say. Because she seems rather slender until you reach the naval region and it blossoms from there. But we met earlier for the first time today while waiting for the eternal elevator to arrive. They know I live next to them and that’s all they know. He didn’t look at me and she looked and gave a half smile. “Hello.” I offered. “Hello.” she offered back. Now one would think that would be the end of it, we would wait for the elevator, take it to the bottom floor and each go their own way, right? But noooooooo! The girl with the party sized pooper just had to say something that made me bite my tongue, think of sick babies, the Kardashians joining a road company of “The Sound Of Music”, or even waking up to discover that I was in some hotel room and still on the road with Redbone. All it took was two simple words to put me through one of greatest attempts of showing restraint in my life. That’s it…two words. And they were said with a straight face and in a very smug manner as well.
“We’re musicians.” The knees started to buckle. That built in sarcasm gene that I was born with was fighting the rest of my body that was working overtime trying to suppress it with everything from bribes to threats. Then I caught myself just in time from adding two more words to the conversation that very well could have eventually ended in a homicide. I started to say “Me too”, but caught it in the “M” stage and left it there. I could easily imagine the knocks on the door and invites for a “jam session” with wooden flute, bongo and chanting at all hours of the day and night. I was going to say that they sound like a teenage garage band in India, but having spent time there years ago, I don’t recall ever seeing a single garage in India. A stable band perhaps? But I guess that’s what made those two words sound surreal. The totally smug way she said it! Almost with a sneer in fact. As I was holding myself back from jumping down the elevator shaft, Bongo Boy hit a home run and cleared the bases. He removed his Jiffy Pop Rastafarian Hat and he had just gotten his reddish dreadlocks shaved down to the bone. He looked like the Krishna guys who used to dance at the airports before the TSA and good taste drove them away. But he still wore the hat. It looked pretty damned dumb before when he had it stuffed full of red dreadlocks. Now it looked like a huge multi-coloured tongue flapping from the back of his head.
Finally, the elevator arrived and once the door closed, it was easy to see that deodorant wasn’t very high on their shopping list either. My eyes were watering. I wanted to fart just to improve the air quality in the elevator. I still have pretty good lungs and held my breath for the rest of the ride after that first near fatal inhale. We arrived at the bottom floor and there was the usual crowd waiting to get in. As they did, I could hear different languages groaning about the smell. I just hope they didn’t think it was me. I'm clean. Very clean.

Rast A. Farian

1 comment :

Anonymous said...

Scott's posts are always good for a big larf ..... and we jazzers should always remember that he is a top class horn player! Really, one of the finest .....

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