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Bebop Spoken There

Steve Fishwick: “I can’t get behind the attitude that new is always somehow better than old”. (Jazz Journal, April 15, 2019).

The Things They Say!

Hudson Music: Lance's "Bebop Spoken Here" is one of the heaviest and most influential jazz blogs in the UK.

Rupert Burley (Dynamic Agency): "BSH just goes from strength to strength".

'606' Club: "A toast to Lance Liddle of the terrific jazz blog 'Bebop Spoken Here'"

The Strictly Smokin' Big Band included Be Bop Spoken Here (sic) in their 5 Favourite Jazz Blogs.

Ann Braithwaite (Braithwaite & Katz Communications) You’re the BEST!

Holly Cooper, Mouthpiece Music: "Lance writes pull quotes like no one else!"

Simon Spillett: A lovely review from the dean of jazz bloggers, Lance Liddle...

Josh Weir: I love the writing on bebop spoken here... I think the work you are doing is amazing.

Postage

16527 (and counting) posts since we started blogging 16 years ago. 407 of them this year alone and, so far, 29 this month (June 12).

From This Moment On ...

June

Mon 17: Harmony Brass @ Cullercoats Crescent Club. 1:00pm. Free.
Mon 17: ‘Tower of Power’ @ The Library Bar, Saddler St., Durham . 7:30pm.Free. A Durham University Jazz Society event. All welcome.

Tue 18: Vieux Carré Jazzmen @ The Victoria & Albert Inn, Seaton Delaval. 12:30pm. £13.00. ‘Jazz, Sausage ‘n’ Mash’…’with Onion Gravy’!
Tue 18: Jam Session @ The Black Swan, Newcastle. 7:30pm. Free. House trio: Stu Collingwood, Paul Grainger, Tim Johnston.
Tue 18: Libby Goodridge & Ben Davies @ The Lost Wanderer, Leazes Park Road, Newcastle. 8:00pm. £6.00. Triple bill, inc. Goodridge & Davies (jazz).

Wed 19: Vieux Carré Jazzmen @ Cullercoats Crescent Club. 1:00pm. Free.
Wed 19: Darlington Big Band @ Darlington & Simpson Rolling Mills Social Club, Darlington. 7:00pm. Free. Rehearsal session (open to the public).
Wed 19: Take it to the Bridge @ The Globe, Newcastle. 7:30pm. Free.

Thu 20: Vieux Carré Jazzmen @ The Holystone, Whitley Road, North Tyneside. 1:00pm. Free.
Thu 20 Gateshead Jazz Appreciation Society @ Brunswick Methodist Church, Newcastle. 2:00pm. £4.00. Note new venue!
Thu 20: Karine Polwart & Dave Milligan @ The Fire Station, Sunderland. 7:30pm. £29.00., £23.00. Folk/jazz duo.
Thu 20: Richard Herdman & Ray Burns @ Prohibition Bar, Newcastle. 8:00pm. Free. A ‘Jar on the Bar’ gig.
Thu 20: Tees Hot Club @ Dorman’s Club, Middlesbrough. 8:30pm. Guests: Josh Bentham (tenor sax); Donna Hewitt (alto sax); Dave Archbold (keys); Dave Harrison (trumpet); Ron Smith (bass).

Fri 21: Alan Barnes with Dean Stockdale Trio @ The Lit & Phil, Newcastle. 1:00pm. SOLD OUT!
Fri 21: Joe Steels’ Borealis @ The Gala, Durham. 1:00pm. £8.00.
Fri 21: Classic Swing @ Cullercoats Crescent Club. 1:00pm. Free.
Fri 21: Rendezvous Jazz @ The Monkseaton Arms. 1:00pm. Free.
Fri 21: New Orleans Preservation Jazz Band @ The Oxbridge Hotel, Stockton. 1:00pm. £5.00.
Fri 21: Soznak @ The Bike Garden, Nunsmoor, Newcastle NE4 5NU. 5:00-9:00pm. Free.
Fri 21: Errol Linton + Michael Littlefield & Scott Taylor (King Bees) @ Gosforth Civic Theatre, Newcastle. 7:30pm. £20.00. Blues double bill.
Fri 21: Alan Barnes with the Dean Stockdale Trio @ Seventeen Nineteen, Sunderland. 7:30pm.
Fri 21: Strictly Smokin’ Big Band @ Alnwick Playhouse. 8:00pm. ‘Ella & Ellington’.
Fri 21: Mark Toomey Quartet @ Traveller’s Rest, Darlington. 8:00pm. Opus 4 Jazz Club.

Sat 22: Jason Isaacs @ Stack, Seaburn SR6 8AA. 12:30-2:30pm. Free.
Sat 22: Abbie Finn Trio @ The Vault, Darlington. 7:00pm. Free.
Sat 22: Hejira: Celebrating Joni Mitchell @ The Cluny, Newcastle. 7:30pm (doors). £22.50.
Sat 22: Rockin’ Turner Bros. @ Prohibition Bar, Newcastle. 8:00pm. Free. A ‘Jar on the Bar’ gig.

Sun 23: Paul Skerritt @ Hibou Blanc, Newcastle. 2:00pm.
Sun 23: More Jam @ The Globe, Newcastle. 2:00pm. Free.
Sun 23: Matt Carmichael @ St Mary’s Church, Wooler. 3:00pm. Carmichael (saxophone), Fergus McCreadie (piano), Charlie Stewart (fiddle). ‘Scottish jazz, folk-roots & landscape’ Wooler Arts: Summer Concerts.
Sun 23: 4B @ The Ticket Office, Whitley Bay. 3:00pm. Free.
Sun 23: Tweed River Jazz Band @ Barrels Ale House, Berwick. 7:00pm. Free.
Sun 23: Bede Trio @ The Globe, Newcastle. 8:00pm.
Sun 23: Leeway @ Prohibition Bar, Newcastle. 8:00pm. Free. A ‘Jar on the Bar’ gig.
Sun 23: Jazz Jam @ Fabio’s Bar, Saddler St., Durham. 8:00pm. Free. A Durham University Jazz Society event. All welcome.

Wednesday, January 04, 2017

Bongo Boy And Butt Girl - An In Chanting Couple (Another gem from Scott Black)

Seems that the skinny white guy who wears a Rastafarian hat and plays the bongos, has decided to expand his horizons. He has taken up chanting to add to the various musical things he can’t do. I was sitting here in a quiet repose and the thwapping sound of someone smacking an innocent bongo started up. It’s not a problem really, for I possess industrial strength earplugs for such things as train wrecks, asteroids, new age music, rap and neighbours who play bongos. But after a few minutes, he started bellowing out what sounded like an impersonation of a wounded steer to me. Or perhaps a Great Dane with an infected tooth, but you get the idea. It wasn’t in any language that I’ve ever heard of before, it made no sense and had no sense of pitch to it, or talent for that matter.

His girlfriend is a short and very cute blonde of college age I suspect, with one slight flaw. I think she was born with two asses. Either that or she uses that caboose for shoplifting. It’s hard to say. Because she seems rather slender until you reach the naval region and it blossoms from there. But we met earlier for the first time today while waiting for the eternal elevator to arrive. They know I live next to them and that’s all they know. He didn’t look at me and she looked and gave a half smile. “Hello.” I offered. “Hello.” she offered back. Now one would think that would be the end of it, we would wait for the elevator, take it to the bottom floor and each go their own way, right? But noooooooo! The girl with the party sized pooper just had to say something that made me bite my tongue, think of sick babies, the Kardashians joining a road company of “The Sound Of Music”, or even waking up to discover that I was in some hotel room and still on the road with Redbone. All it took was two simple words to put me through one of greatest attempts of showing restraint in my life. That’s it…two words. And they were said with a straight face and in a very smug manner as well.
“We’re musicians.” The knees started to buckle. That built in sarcasm gene that I was born with was fighting the rest of my body that was working overtime trying to suppress it with everything from bribes to threats. Then I caught myself just in time from adding two more words to the conversation that very well could have eventually ended in a homicide. I started to say “Me too”, but caught it in the “M” stage and left it there. I could easily imagine the knocks on the door and invites for a “jam session” with wooden flute, bongo and chanting at all hours of the day and night. I was going to say that they sound like a teenage garage band in India, but having spent time there years ago, I don’t recall ever seeing a single garage in India. A stable band perhaps? But I guess that’s what made those two words sound surreal. The totally smug way she said it! Almost with a sneer in fact. As I was holding myself back from jumping down the elevator shaft, Bongo Boy hit a home run and cleared the bases. He removed his Jiffy Pop Rastafarian Hat and he had just gotten his reddish dreadlocks shaved down to the bone. He looked like the Krishna guys who used to dance at the airports before the TSA and good taste drove them away. But he still wore the hat. It looked pretty damned dumb before when he had it stuffed full of red dreadlocks. Now it looked like a huge multi-coloured tongue flapping from the back of his head.
Finally, the elevator arrived and once the door closed, it was easy to see that deodorant wasn’t very high on their shopping list either. My eyes were watering. I wanted to fart just to improve the air quality in the elevator. I still have pretty good lungs and held my breath for the rest of the ride after that first near fatal inhale. We arrived at the bottom floor and there was the usual crowd waiting to get in. As they did, I could hear different languages groaning about the smell. I just hope they didn’t think it was me. I'm clean. Very clean.

Rast A. Farian

1 comment :

Anonymous said...

Scott's posts are always good for a big larf ..... and we jazzers should always remember that he is a top class horn player! Really, one of the finest .....

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